Just as Mackenzie was finally quieting down for her nap and I was settled on the couch with a glass of water, empty bladder, laptop, and my feet up to work… there was an overly loud rapping at the door.
I jumped up and opened it and could hear Mackenzie faintly calling from upstairs, “Good morning, Mama!”
A short, stocky, young guy wearing athletic shoes and carrying a clipboard was standing on the walkway leading up to the front porch. It was almost like he walked up onto the porch, knocked, sensed my wrath, and retreated to a safe distance.
“How we doing today?!” He blurted out, with a huge smile and a little two-step with his feet. It wasn’t quite a jig, but it was bouncy enough to be unsettling.
He introduced himself and mentioned cryptically he was here to talk to me about some line service they had been running in the area. At first blush, it sounded like something I would be interested in knowing but his overflowing enthusiasm tipped me off that this was not an informational meeting. As it turns out, the poor guy was trying to sell us some kind of upgrade for cable t.v.
“We don’t watch t.v.” I informed him evenly, with a perfectly straight face.
He was gearing up to launch into his pitch by this time, and it was almost comical how quickly my comment took the wind out of his sails. He stammered for a second, to make sure he had heard me correctly.
“You mean you don’t even have cable?”
“No, we don’t even get local channels. We don’t watch t.v.”
Inexplicably, that clarification was encouraging to him and he responded that my situation was fairly common. He proceeded to give me a rehearsed speech on why his company offered a better deal than our current set up and could save us money.
He petered out near the end of his spiel, perhaps because my face gave away my skepticism that paying for cable would save us money over not paying for cable.
After trailing off completely mid-sentence, he bounced down the sidewalk and headed for the next house, evidently undaunted by my silent rebuff.
To be honest, I felt a little bad for the guy. He probably didn’t realize that banging loudly on doors in our neighborhood during afternoon naptime (where no soliciting signs are clearly displayed) was A Very Bad Idea. Non-t.v.-watchers like us are probably the least of his worries. 😉